dollhouse Shoe Store Blog: April 2012

Cast: Akshay Kumar, Asin Thottumkal, John Abraham, Jacqueline Fernandez, Riteish Deshmukh, Zarine Khan, Shreyas Talpade, Shazahn Padamsee, Mithun Chakraborty, Rishi Kapoor, Randhir Kapoor, Boman Irani

Rating: *

Comedy fueled by confusion yields very little. And in Bollywood, this leads to people repeating their punch lines, screaming while spitting with expressions more animated than the next Pixar production. Here we have a house full of just this. The success factors are the usual: foreign locations, a minimum of two top stars (John-Akshay) and a maximum of two average stars to make the top stars feel more significant (Shreyas-Riteish). Then there has to be unaccountable opulence (since the audience wants to escape from their middle-class drudgery), dhishooming at the ratio of 30:1, naach-gaana by the united blues of Thailand and so on.

Something the script writer deserves, if this film had one

The above image is a good example of what one can expect as an excuse for humour in this film. People getting kicked in the behind and falling in a puddle of embarrassment. Laughter track? Yes, please. Anyway, the film is about four friends, three of whom are pretending to be the fourth person- Jolly, who is the son of UK-based millionaire, JD. Why? Because it's the only way to charm any prospective father-in-law. And just for fun, the two sets of fathers of the bride are arch enemies. How does that alter the plot? It doesn't but allows for bitter exchanges filled with pokey insults and ridiculing confrontations. So much for your hard-earned multiplex ticket.

Too close for comfort?

If two heterosexual men get this close physically, one would question their orientation but arching one's brows like that doesn't convey much love. And Sunny (Akshay Kumar) and Max (John Abraham) are bitter enemies. This is explained through a tiring flashback song sequence. If you're pulling out your hair to guess if they resolve their differences, don't. Not at the cost of sacrificing hair that probably won't grow back. But then again, taking you through this story would ensure they grey evenly, so you might as well pull them out.

The tables have turned indeed!

What is the point of casting John Abraham if he can't lift pool tables and bring them down to smash and bruise multiple extras? So he does just that between playing a suave pickpocket who forever seeks occasions to slip out of his t-shirt. John's fans, rejoice!

You guys aren't jolly good fellows?

When the ladies realise that their millionaire fiancés aren't aware of the number of zeroes in a million, they break down. The long and screechy 'Nahiiiiiiiiiin' has been done away with. But tears roll down and the short confrontation seems silly when in the very next scene the two arrive to forgive their respective partners and gulp down the lies and deceit that they put up with through the film. How generous! To the audience, that is.

Kyunki bahu bhi kabhi item girl thi

While Akshay Kumar and John Abraham hog the screen more than others, it's difficult to tell if the film would've been any better or worse if the remaining cast got any more screen space. Post 'Hera Pheri', which was a success for no contribution from Akshay, he was led to believe that he could throw in one-liners just as well as his punches. And it was this false notion that led Akki to make us suffer over a dozen movies where we brave his effortlessly bad comic timing. Shreyas Talpade and Riteish Deshmukh are mere props who surface and disappear without much notice. As for the girls, when you step out of the film, you'd feel that they were only present in the songs or is that just wishful thinking?

The music isn't soul melting but is pleasant and complements the stunning locales where the songs are filmed. The edit could've been crisper and could've eliminated some of the countless and pointless exchanges between step-siblings played by Rishi Kapoor and Randhir Kapoor.

'He's your brother, you find him an alternative profession'

We often say that our film industry is superficial to the extent of believing that a big star can save a sinking film by his/her mere presence. But then, how many of us pick our multiplex plans just based on the stars we want to see on the screen? Exactly, so fickle films are a product of a fickle audience. Go watch this movie and send out a strong message to financiers that this is what you want so that they can help Sajid Khan make another sequel. If he casts Vidya Balan in his sequel, it could be called Blouse-full.

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